


With my Dying Breath

by AeonTheDimensionalGirl



Series: Merthur Week 2020✨👑 [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Depressed Merlin (Merlin), Deviates From Canon, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), M/M, Post-Magic Reveal, Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28318374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonTheDimensionalGirl/pseuds/AeonTheDimensionalGirl
Summary: “Any other lies left to tell me?” Arthur asked, nearly hysterical as he pointedly looked at the wound on Merlin’s side.Merlin is cold, sorrowful and exhausted.Arthur is angry, tired and scared.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merthur Week 2020✨👑 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030797
Comments: 30
Kudos: 236
Collections: Merthur Week 2020





	With my Dying Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5: “Any other lies left to tell me?” + Angst
> 
> I combined this with another prompt, which you can check in the notes below.

Merlin blames performance anxiety for the slip up.

Arthur has been watching him like a hawk ever since the reveal of his magic, eyes always confused and even mistrustful at times; so when the bandits attacked, Merlin felt like he somehow had to prove he can still be worthy of the King’s trust-

Which led to being extremely focused on not letting anyone dangerously near to Arthur that he didn’t notice a bandit coming behind him until it was too late.

The warlock doesn’t even have the energy to scream in pain as the dagger trusts through his side. Instead, Merlin feels his breath hitch, the pain feeling like welcoming an old friend….

And he’s suddenly falling, and faintly the raven remembers that they were ambushed near a ridge, himself luring a few bandits near the dangerous edge in a game of ‘hunting the useless servant’ to dispose of them and to keep a better eye on Arthur-

Merlin doesn’t even realize he’s blacked out until he manages to catch muffled screaming of his name, his shoulder being tightly gripped while there’s a hand cupping his cheek.

“-lin!”

“’R’hur?” the warlock managed to weakly whisper. His eyes felt too heavy to fully open, his head was burning with agony and the cold darkness looked so welcoming-

“Hey! Stay with me” Arthur snaps, shaking Merlin a little harder than necessary, who had to bite down a moan of pain, “Open your eyes”

Was that fear in his voice?

“You can’t do that, you have to stay awake!”

Merlin winced, letting out a faint sigh. 

“Sorry...” he managed to mumble, prying hazy, unfocused eyes open just a sliver, “I...I don’t know why I’m so tired...”

But he does know.

It’s a lie.

Merlin knows he’s bleeding out, but he’s not about to say that aloud.

It’s not like it matters anyway.

Why would Arthur care if Merlin were dying?

He didn’t even trust him anymore.

“You had a bad fall” the raven faintly heard the King say, feeling strong arms attempting to help him up. Something inside Merlin tells him that maybe Arthur still cares, or else why would he sound so concerned for his wellbeing?

“ _Mer_ lin, come on, I need you to put some effort in making your legs hold you up” the blond kept on talking.

Grunting while biting back multiple moans of pain, Merlin struggled to do so-

Only to collapse back onto the ground, taking Arthur down with him as the darkness called once more.

* * *

Arthur will admit that he panicked after he dispatched the final bandit and didn’t see hair or hide of Merlin-

And felt the world end when he finally found him, after what felt like an eternity, lying at the muddy bottom of the ridge, unconscious and bleeding from a visible head wound.

He doesn’t recall ever running so fast to the raven’s side, heart on his throat as he took in the shallow and labored breaths Merlin was letting out; and was thrown into further panic when the warlock took a while to respond to his calls.

The King dares to hope that he can get Merlin to Gaius in time for treatment when he finally manages to stand up-

Only to despair further when Merlin goes limp in his arms and back onto the ground, Arthur accompanying him to cushion his fall, maneuvering his body to easily cradle the raven and getting ready to rise once again, determined to carry him back to Camelot-

When Arthur notices that Merlin’s muddy covered side is soaked in blood.

And he goes cold, feeling bile rising on the back of his throat.

No.

No,no,no-

“Merlin” he can’t help the anger in his tone, but it wasn’t directed at the dying man in his arms, it was at himself; because he’s been so cold towards his dear friend that the raven had decided to hide his fatal injury, “MERLIN!”

Azure eyes weakly blinked open once again, downhearted and in pain.

The King swallowed the sob that was threatening to escape as he took in how the little flecks of gold in the warlock’s beautiful eyes were dimmed.

“Any other lies left to tell me?” Arthur asked, nearly hysterical as he pointedly looked at the wound on Merlin’s side.

Men don’t survive long with that amount of blood gone-

“I- I thought…” Merlin’s weak whisper brought his attention back to him, “You’d be happy to- to not have me around…. anymore”

Arthur didn’t even try to fight down the sob this time as he took in the meaning behind his words.

_‘I thought you hated me’_

“No-” he cried, shaking his head, “No, Merlin, I- no- I… I’m sorry”

He cupped Merlin’s cheek while pressing their foreheads together, the raven’s eyes staring back with disbelief.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for giving you the cold shoulder, I’m sorry you felt like you needed to hide this because you thought I didn’t care” the King said, “I swear.. I _know_ \- it’s no excuse- I needed time and I didn’t know how to express it and-” he choked on another sob, “I’m sorry, Merlin, I’m so, so sorry”

Merlin was crying too.

“I forgive you” he murmured, wincing as he weakly rose a hand to cover Arthur’s hand with his own, “Thank you for telling me” he added with a small smile, “I can die happy”

“Please hold on” Arthur pleaded, breaking the cover to instead hold the warlock’s hand in a tight grip, “I can’t lose you”

But Merlin’s smile simply saddened, and he opened his mouth to say something-

Before his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and sagged on Arthur’s arms with a barely audible sigh.

Lifeless.

Arthur screamed, shaking Merlin, trying- _begging_ him to wake up, to not leave-

But his dearest remained dead in his arms.

Sobbing, Arthur buried his head on the juncture of the raven’s neck, rocking him as he keep pleading for a miracle, praying to the Triple Goddess.

“I love you” Arthur whispered, turning to place a chaste kiss on Merlin’s lips, “I’ve always loved you”

For a moment, all sound around him goes out.

The world seems to be tinted with silver and gold-

And then he hears it.

“Arthur?”

The King looks down, finding azure eyes blinking back at him.

“Merlin”

Later, they will both freak out and question what happened.

But right now?

Arthur is going to kiss Merlin again, just to be sure he’s still with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by **@whumpster-dumpster** in tumblr:
> 
> _“Hey! Stay with me. Open your eyes,” A snaps fearfully, shaking their wounded friend B harder than necessary. “You can’t do that, you have to stay awake!”_
> 
> _B winces and sighs faintly. “Sorry...” they mumble, prying hazy, unfocused eyes open just a sliver. “I...I don’t know why I’m so tired...” It’s a lie. They know they’re bleeding out, but they’re not about to say that aloud._


End file.
